It was a rainy day and the clouds were rumbling like they hadn’t eaten in days. Everyone was getting ready for school. As I hopped in the car it started pouring.
”Seatbelts on, everyone, because you have to be careful driving on rainy days.” Mum exclaimed.
Pretty soon we were at school and as I walked to class I heard cheering. It got louder. I got to class and people were hitting a ball against the wall. I decided to join in. I kicked the ball against the wall and it bounced back. After I dodged it, the ball hit the window and smashed it.
“I didn’t mean to hit it that hard,” I said sadly.
Hello Chole! I enjoyed reading your piece! One thing I loved about your text is your visual elements to make me picture what type of setting it was. One of the personal connections I have to this piece is the rainy days because where we are it has been raining for quite some time. One thing you need to work on is the I because you have used it a lot so just change that and you will be okay with your piece.
From Cameron in Illinois.
hi chloe, i loved your 100 word its amazing it made me laugh. come look at ours at https://app.seesaw.me/blog/cockerhamceclass3/#!/
Hi Chloe, I really like your post ; I thought it was funny. The simile at the start was very good.
Hi I really like that you used the simile ‘the clouds were rumbling like they hadn’t eaten in days’.